The Loved and the Lost

Freckles sprinkle across my nose as I turn to you and I smile with red velvet lips, I remember. Where are you now? When I close my eyes I can still see your burning silhouette in the dining room, underneath the shimmering stars of my chandelier. And we are little girls again, grinning in sandboxes, your amber curls bouncing as you climb to the top of the slide and declare with flushed pride, "I am the queen!" I weave you a crown of flowers and whisper that there has never been a queen so beautiful - the same words I muttered at your wedding, in the back row. You swore I'd be your maid of honor, I remember. We were teenagers on a road trip to Arizona, wild with rebellion, collar bones peeking through our skin. But that was a long time ago, before the spider-veins ate my knuckles, before revolutions, before saltwater carved stone. I remember, and that is my curse. You kiss him, and marmalade melodies waft through the air, the first notes of a happy marriage. I fold my weathered hands and slip away, filled with the sting of a goodbye never said. And I know my heart may never stop breaking for those two little girls, curled under a flashlight whispering ghost stories to each other in the darkness.

19 comments:

rebecca said...

it's beautiful, yet terrible to remember. rose-tinted glasses are the worst thing to have. xo

not wendy said...

I wish we were sisters. You would tell me all your pretty, heartbreaking thoughts and I would tell you mine, and Prince Charming would never come between us. I find these words so relatable, I actually have a similar post on my blog I wrote a few months ago. I don't want to fall in love, never never never. And if I do, it will be very tragic and I certainly will never be married.

You have a captivating way with words. xx

Isabelle said...

It is the sadest thing to dance alone at someones wedding, like a spider among butterflies...

Ϩtεℓℓα said...

beautiful written, although sad story...

xx

Thea said...

This is ever such a beautiful post; you make poetry from such deep nostalgia and melancholy. ♥

mckenzie. said...

this is kind of intoxicating.
i followed you, love. i'm new and your blog struck me :)

Z--- said...

love those pictures!!xx

www.zscloset.blogspot.com

Julia said...

lovely, lovely lovely.

and thanks for giving me a visit. :)

Joanna said...

How lovely! I love the way you create such rich imagery - it is such a rare talent. Beautiful soul, beautiful words. xxxx

Athena. said...

This is so beautiful, so heart-breakingly beautiful. I cannot articulate how it makes me feel; forlorn, a little lost, and yet longing for more. You are amazing. xxxx

magnoliaamber said...

I have been thinking about marriage lately and I know how lonely I would be. Soon. Dear, you expressed it so elegantly. I love this post to the most.

iz said...

This makes me feel lonely. It is a little painful but still very, very, very beautiful.

Ella said...

your blog is very nice! i would go as far to say that it is an aesthetic treat :)

minnja said...

I love that post :)))))))

LOVE
minnja

http://minnja.blogspot.com/

Sassi said...

great pictures. love the second one so much!
X

Jazzy E (hivennn) said...

so lovely x hivennn.

b. said...

Beautiful ! I love your blog :)

yoli said...

sad but beautiful and real story...

lovely blog.

Antonia Serio said...

Vintage vintage vintage :D
COme into my blog if you want :D
Kisses

http://haiundisperatobisognodichanel.blogspot.com/